When I entered into 2024, I was FULL of expectation. I truly believed it was going to be the best year of my life. I anticipated so many things, and I just KNEW that it would be better than I could imagine.
I could have never understood the magnitude of heartache that year would hold.
I could have never prepared for the pivots and changes that year would hold.
I could have never prepared for the mental strain that year would hold…what it would have on my family.
It was the hardest year of my life to date.
So much of what happened was “behind the scenes” that is not a story to tell yet. Maybe one day. So much of it is hard to put into words…but even if I could, I don’t think I could convey what it truly felt like to go through it.
You see, what I have found is that God certainly does not always show us what is coming…because if He did, we would try to change the trajectory. We would not want to stay the course to get to the other side. We would be looking for a different way to bypass the hardship. So, in his all knowing, ever so kind character, He just guides us one step at a time. He shows us each next step. He doesn’t show the full staircase.
As I look back on this past year, I am thankful for that.
The year was brutal, but the lessons were mandatory and life changing. I can sit here today and say that He has shown me more in this past year than I have perhaps seen in all 40 years combined before that, and that is saying a lot.
Today, I want to share with you why the number 41 is so important to me as I just celebrated my 41st birthday yesterday.
There is deep meaning, and I feel like it rings so TRUE to my life…
I did not write this, but I don’t know who did to give them credit.
The Meaning of 41
I was in a desert last year…I was in my year 40. It felt like it wouldn’t end. It felt too hard. It felt like there was no hope in some ways. It felt scary. It felt uncertain. It felt everything all rolled into one. It felt like I had no control, because I didn’t. It felt like I was not strong enough to overcome…but in HIM, I found strength I didn’t know I had.
I realized that I absolutely DO have some of the most LOYAL and amazing friends I could ever dream of and the loneliness I felt was a lie, and I have now fully stepped into those friendships that I realized I had put a wall around because I didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t trust. I had been hurt too much to open up…and I will no longer live that way.
I realized I have to let women love me. I can’t go on with walls so tall that nobody can get to me because of fear of being hurt or left. I realized that was a debilitating problem that I had let control me for a long time…and because of that, I was hurting myself far more than anyone else could.
I realized that my entire life started to shift again!
I realized the sun shone brighter for me.
Last Updated on March 20, 2025
You are loved, friend…thankful for new beginnings.
Wow!! I love this! I want to thank you for sharing, and being so encouraging. I am older than “41”, but I believe my 41 is coming. I am thankful for you, and your testimony! God bless you!
Thanks for sharing!! Praying for you!
Dear Brooke,
I am a somewhat newcomer to your blog, Re-habbed etc. i read your post 4 times and saw myself in what you wrote in the last year as well. I am almost 67, last year was the toughest of my life as well. Please know I have added you to my daily prayers. God changes hearts. He is working so hard on us ladies especially. Your Sister in Christ, Beth
Your quote is from a Christian book called “41 Will Come” by Chuck E. Tate. I followed and hurt for you during your year 40. I admired the way you and your family obediently followed even when it did not make sense. You publicly showed us full obedience, not partial obedience even when you did not know why. I’m so happy you are in “41.” Thank you for walking out your faith amid the storms. Happiest 41 to you, Brooke!