Sticks and Stones

If there is one thing that I can say with certainty that I will never teach my kids, it is this-“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.” This quote  is one of the most untrue statements I have ever heard. I remember as a young child hearing this all time time at school and other places. At that age, I didn’t really understand the meaning, but I did understand one thing- words did hurt…and they still do.

Now, let me preface this by saying that as a child, I was the most sensitive kid you would ever meet. I wore my heart on my sleeve BIG time, and I was extremely tenderhearted. If you looked at me funny or said something even slightly hurtful, I would cry. I just would. I didn’t want to be that way, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. I absolutely cannot count the number of times that my poor mama told me, “Brooke honey, You have GOT {big emphasis on the got!} to stop being so sensitive!” Well, over time I can honestly say that I have come a looooong way. In fact, I am nowhere near that same girl, but I still have a very tender heart. Things touch me easily, and I am liable to cry over just about anything. But, this isn’t about being overly sensitive. It is about the power of your words.

Proverbs 18:21 says that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” The times that I have been hurt the very worse by someone has not been by something they have done to me. It has been by something they have said. The times in my life that I have hurt someone the most was by words that I have spoken, either to them or about them. The words we speak hold so much power! I was talking to a co-worker the other day about this very topic, and he made the point that sticks and stones hurt for a brief time and leave a physical scar on your body, but words go so much deeper. They leave an emotional scar. Those take much longer to heal. In fact, I am not sure that they ever truly heal.

This is an area that I deal with daily in my own life. It is nowhere near being an area that I have conquered. I struggle daily to stay out of the {what I like to call} “nah nah’s” of the office world and gossip. It is easy to get caught up in it without really giving it much thought. You don’t mean any harm. I mean, you just kind of walked in and gave your “opinion.” “I would say it to their face too, so it’s not gossip.” How often have you heard or even said that one? Lately I feel like I have been hit in the stomach with the realization of just how harmful all of those “little” moments of talk truly are. What good am I bringing to the situation by putting in my 2 cents worth about the issue? Do I even truly know the issue being talked about anyway? Will my words bring life to the people that hear them? Will the person that I am talking about be hurt of uplifted if they happened to be standing around the corner listening? These are all things that I have felt major conviction on lately. I truly want to be a person that is known for uplifting others and being mindful of their feelings. I can’t say that I have lived my life in that way nearly as much as I wish I would have. Many of my biggest regrets are words spoken or NOT spoken when they should have been. But, one thing I do know to be true is that today is a new day. It is never too late to make a change and do better. I tell my kids that. It is a new day, and you can do better today! In fact, there have been times that I have had to go back and apologize to someone years later for something that I still felt a burden about. I didn’t know if they ever gave it a second thought or not, but I knew I did…and I had to make it right. That isn’t easy. BUT, those words I said were wrong, and it hurt them. I was the one in the wrong for leaving it alone and never making it right.

Every night when I pray for my kids, one thing I ALWAYS pray is that they will be kind to others. To me, besides their salvation, there is not much more that would make me prouder as their parent than to know that I have raised a KIND child. A kind word or action, a kind tone, a kind gesture…these are not minor things in the life of a person. In fact, I can remember back to kids in elementary school that were kind to me in different situations. It left a lasting impression. The same goes for me as an adult. A kind word when needed, a small gift out of the blue, an uplifting text message…all of these “little” things are in fact, not little at all. They are what I remember about people, about their character. Now the opposite is also true. I have very vivid memories of those kids that did not treat me or others kindly, as well as adults. I try to not focus on them, and I also try to remember that I should not let that define who they are to me, but it does go to show just how important those actions can be, even later in life. I hope that as I try to do better each and every day, perhaps I can be that person that someone looks back on in their own life and say, “I remember her. She was kind.”

So, in ending this, I go back to my original quote…”Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.” This is certainly a lie straight from the mouth of the devil, and as we live each of our lives, I hope that we can all remember just how untrue this is, and make a conscious effort to speak life. If we can’t speak life, let us just be silent. {Conviction moment!}

Last Updated on October 19, 2015